we’ll we’ll we’ll if it isn’t autocorrect
Life, in it’s purest form, is a pissing contest. From the time you are born, until you die, you are constantly competing. For what, though? Attention? Money? A job? My struggle is not with others, but with myself. I am a terminal perfectionist. To some, that may not sound like a bad thing. But let me tell you- it is incredibly draining. I absolutely love working with my hands, building things, destroying things, fixing something around the house. Those are all examples of things that can essentially be done to the point of perfection. How then, do you turn that part of your mind off when it comes to you personally? Your relationship with yourself? As you age, there is essentially an unspoken rule about perfection. When you’re young, you can fuck up and people think it’s cute, or funny. You’re off the hook. Once you’re old enough to know better, the rules become more strict. Others expect you to be more profound and responsible. Then once you’ve made it out of high school and into college (or college age), people expect you to fuck up or just write off your ignorance as “well he/she is in college, so what can you do haha lol”. After college you are apprehended by the real world for fucking up in the years prior. Then right before you die of old age, no one cares about what you do, because you’re old enough to do what you want. Forgive my wordiness, but the point I’m trying to make is that it’s easy to be confused and to really feel like the world is taking it’s toll on you. For me, it’s in my head. It always will be. It’s me against myself, and no matter what I do I won’t ever be content. Maybe you are competing against a colleague, family member, or significant other. Regardless, I’ve been learning to not take everything so seriously and maybe that can help you too.
I am a far angrier individual than any of you will ever know or see, but I am learning to not greet weakness with hostility. Instead I have been shown that a helping hand will almost always go further.
Sometimes a right hook will do the job, though.
9 September 2014
Haha I’m glad someone else could get something out of them. I need to write more. Lately it just hasn’t been such a priority, but I do have some stuff I could probably post.
Thanks for the message!